The German Classics of The Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Vol. IV by Editor in Chief: Kuno Francke

E >> Editor in Chief: Kuno Francke >> The German Classics of The Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Vol. IV

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36

GOTTLIEB.

But why do you disclose all this to me?

HINZE.

Because you are a good, a noble man, one of the few who take no
delight in servility and slavery; see, that is why I disclose myself
to you completely and fully.

GOTTLIEB (_gives him his hand_).

Good friend!

HINZE.

Human beings labor under the delusion that the only remarkable thing
about us is that instinctive purring which arises from a certain
feeling of comfort; for that reason they often stroke us awkwardly and
then we usually purr to secure ourselves against blows. But if they
knew how to manage us in the right way, believe me, they would
accustom our good nature to everything, and Michel, your neighbor's
tom-cat, would even at times be pleased to jump through a hoop for the
king.

GOTTLIEB.

You're right in that.

HINZE.

I love you, Master Gottlieb, very much. You have never stroked me the
wrong way, you have let me sleep when I felt like it, you have
objected whenever your brothers wanted to take me up, to go with me
into the dark, and see the so-called electrical sparks--for all this I
now want to show my gratitude.

GOTTLIEB.

Noble-hearted Hinze! Ah, how unjustly do they speak ill of you and
scornfully, doubting your loyalty and devotion! My eyes are being
opened--how my knowledge of human nature is increasing and so
unexpectedly!

FISCHER.

Friends, where has our hope for a picture of family life gone to?

LEUTNER.

Why it is almost too nonsensical.

SCHLOSS.

I feel as though I were in a dream.

HINZE.

You are a good man, Master Gottlieb; but, do not take it ill of me,
you are somewhat narrow, confined--to speak out freely, not one of the
best heads.

GOTTLIEB.

Alas, no!

HINZE.

You don't know now, for example, what you want to do.

GOTTLIEB.

You read my thoughts perfectly.

HINZE.

If you had a muff made out of my fur--

GOTTLIEB.

Do not take it amiss, comrade, that this idea just passed through my
mind.

HINZE.

Why, no, it was an altogether human thought. Can you think of no way
of managing?

GOTTLIEB.

Not a thing!

HINZE.

You might carry me around and show me for money; but that is never a
sure means of support.

GOTTLIEB.

No.

HINZE.

You might publish a journal or a German paper, with the motto, _Homo
sum_--or a novel; I should be willing to collaborate with you--but
that is too much bother.

GOTTLIEB.

Yes.

HINZE.

Well, I'll see that I take even better care of you. Depend upon it,
you are yet to become very happy through me.

GOTTLIEB.

O, best, most noble man. (_He embraces him tenderly_.)

HINZE.

But you must also trust me.

GOTTLIEB.

Entirely. Why, now I realize your honorable spirit.

HINZE.

Well, then, do me a favor and bring the shoemaker immediately to take
my measure for a pair of boots.

GOTTLIEB.

The shoemaker? Boots?

HINZE.

You are surprised, but in accomplishing what I intend to do for you, I
have to walk and run so much that I have to wear boots.

GOTTLIEB.

But why not shoes?

HINZE.

Master Gottlieb, you do not understand the matter; they must lend me
some dignity, an imposing air, in short, a certain manliness to which
one never attains in shoes.

GOTTLIEB.

Well, as you think best; but the shoemaker will be surprised.

HINZE.

Not at all; we must act only as if it were nothing remarkable that I
should wish to wear boots; one gets used to everything.

GOTTLIEB.

Yes, indeed; why, my conversation with you has actually become quite
easy! But another thing; now that we have become such good friends, do
call me by my first name, too; why do you still want to stand on
ceremony with me?

HINZE.

As you like, Gottlieb.

GOTTLIEB.

There's the shoemaker passing. Hey! Pst! Friend Leichdorn! Will you
please stop a moment?

[_The shoemaker comes in_.]

SHOEMAK.

God bless you! What's the news?

GOTTLIEB.

I have ordered no work from you for a long time.

SHOEMAK.

No, my friend, all in all, I have very little to do now.

GOTTLIEB.

I should like to have another pair of boots made--

SHOEMAK.

Please take a seat. I have a measure with me.

GOTTLIEB.

Not for myself, but for my young friend there.

SHOEMAK.

For this one here? Very well.

HINZE (_sits on a chair and holds out his right leg_).

SHOEMAK.

Now how should you like it, pussy?

HINZE.

In the first place, good soles, then brown flaps, and, above all
things, stiff.

SHOEMAK.

Very well. (_He takes the measure_.) Will you be so kind as to draw
your claws in a bit--or rather nails? I have already scratched myself.
(_He takes the measure_.)

HINZE.

And they must be finished quickly. (_As his leg is being stroked he
begins to purr involuntarily_.)

SHOEMAK.

The pussy is comfortable.

GOTTLIEB.

Yes, he's a good-humored fellow. He has just come from school, what
they usually call a "smarty."

SHOEMAK.

Well, good-bye.

[_Exit_.]

GOTTLIEB.

Wouldn't you perhaps like to have your whiskers trimmed too?

HINZE.

On no account, I look so much more respectable, and you certainly must
know that cats immediately become unmanly after that. A tom-cat
without whiskers is but a contemptible creature.

GOTTLIEB.

If I only knew what you are planning!

HINZE.

You'll find out in due time. Now I want to take a little walk on the
roofs; there's a fine, open view there and you're likely to catch a
dove too.

GOTTLIEB.

As a good friend, I want to warn you not to let yourself be caught at
it.

HINZE.

Don't worry, I'm not a novice. Meanwhile, good-bye.

[_Exit_.]

GOTTLIEB (_alone_).

Natural history always says that cats cannot be trusted and that they
belong to the lion family, and I am in such fearful dread of a lion. Now
if the cat had no conscience, he could run away from me afterward with
the boots for which I must now give my last penny and then sell them
somewhere for nothing, or it's possible that he wants to make a bid for
favor with the shoemaker and then go into his service. But he has a
tom-cat already. No, Hinze, my brothers have betrayed me, and now I
will try my luck with you. He spoke so nobly, he was so touched--there
he sits on the roof yonder, stroking his whiskers--forgive me, my fine
friend, that I could even for a moment doubt your magnanimity.

[_Exit_.]

FISCHER.

What nonsense!

MUeLLER.

What does the cat need those boots for?--to be able to walk better?
Silly stuff!

SCHLOSS.

But it seems as though I saw a cat before me.

LEUTNER.

Be still, the scene is changing.

_Hall in the royal palace_

_The_ KING _with crown and sceptre. The_ PRINCESS, _his daughter_

KING.

A thousand handsome princes, my precious daughter, have already sued
for your hand and laid their kingdoms at your feet, but you have
continued to refuse them. Tell us the reason for this, my treasure.

PRINCESS.

My most gracious father, I have always believed that my heart must
first feel certain emotions before my neck would bow under the yoke of
marriage. For a marriage without love, they say, is truly hell upon
earth.

KING.

That is right, my dear daughter. Ah, indeed, indeed, have you spoken
words of truth: a hell on earth! Alas, if only I were not qualified to
discuss it! Indeed I should have preferred to remain ignorant! But as
it is, dear treasure, I have my tale to tell, as they say. Your
mother, my consort of blessed memory--ah, Princess, see, the tears
rush to my eyes even in my old age--she was a good queen, she wore the
crown with an indescribable air of majesty--but she gave me very
little peace. Well, may her ashes rest in peace among her royal
relatives.

PRINCESS.

Your majesty excites yourself too much.

KING.

When the memory of it returns to me, O my child, on my knees I would
entreat you--do be careful in marrying! It is a great truth that linen
and a bridegroom must not be bought by candle-light, a truth which
should be found in every book. What did I suffer! No day passed
without a quarrel; I could not sleep peacefully, could not conduct my
administrative business quietly, I could not think of anything, could
not read a book--I was always interrupted. And still my spirit
sometimes yearns for you, my blessed Klothilde! My eyes smart--I am a
real old fool.

PRINCESS (_tenderly_).

My father!

KING.

I tremble to think of the dangers that face you, for, even if you do
fall in love now, my daughter, ah! you should just see what thick
books wise men have filled on this subject--see, your very passion,
then, can also make you miserable. The happiest, the most blissful
emotion can ruin us; moreover, love is, as it were, a magic cup;
instead of nectar we often drink poison; then our pillow is wet with
tears; all hope, all consolation are gone. (_The sound of a trumpet is
heard_.) Why, it isn't dinner-time yet, is it? Probably another new
prince who wants to fall in love with you. Take care, my daughter; you
are my only child, and you do not realize how near my heart your
happiness lies. (_He kisses her and leaves the hall. Applause is heard
in the pit_.)

FISCHER.

That's a scene for you, in which you can find sound common sense.

SCHLOSS.

I am also moved.

MUeLLER.

He's an excellent sovereign.

FISCHER.

Now he didn't exactly have to appear with a crown.

SCHLOSS.

It entirely spoils the sympathy one feels for him as an affectionate
father.

THE PRINCESS (_alone_).

I do not understand at all; why, not one of the princes has yet
touched my heart with love. I always keep in mind my father's
warnings; he is a great sovereign and nevertheless a good father too,
and is always thinking of my happiness; if only he did not have such a
hasty temper! But fortune and misfortune are always coupled thus. My
joy I find in the arts and sciences, for books constitute all my
happiness.

_The_ PRINCESS, LEANDER, _the court scholar_.

LEANDER.

Well, your Royal Highness! (_They sit down_.)

PRINCESS.

Here. Master Leander, is my essay. I have entitled it _Thoughts at
Night_.

LEANDER (_reads_).

Excellent! Inspired! Ah! I feel as though I hear the hour of midnight
striking. When did you write it?

PRINCESS.

Yesterday noon, after dinner.

LEANDER.

Beautifully conceived! Truly, beautifully conceived! But with your
most gracious permission! _The moon shines sadly down in the world._
If you will not take it amiss, it should read: _into the world_.

PRINCESS.

Very well, I will note that for the future; it's too stupid that
poetry should be made so hard for us; one can't write five or six
lines without making a mistake.

LEANDER.

That's the obstinacy of language, so to speak.

PRINCESS.

Are not the emotions tenderly and delicately phrased!

LEANDER.

Indescribably! It is scarcely comprehensible how a feminine mind could
write such a thing.

PRINCESS.

Now I might try my hand at moonlight descriptions. Don't you think so?

LEANDER.

Naturally you keep going farther all the time; you keep rising higher.

PRINCESS.

I have also begun a piece: _The Unhappy Misanthrope; or, Lost Peace
and Restored Innocence!_

LEANDER.

Even the title itself is fascinating.

PRINCESS.

And then I feel an incomprehensible desire within me to write some
horrible ghost story. As I said before, if it were not for those
grammatical errors!

LEANDER.

Do not worry about that, incomparable princess! They are easily
corrected.

[_Groom from the Chamber enters._]

GROOM.

The Prince of Malsinki, who has just arrived, wishes to wait on your
royal highness.

[_Exit._]

LEANDER.

Your obedient servant.

[_Exit._]

_Prince_ NATHANIEL _of Malsinki. The_ KING

KING.

Here, Prince, is my daughter, a young, simple creature, as you
see her before you. (_Aside._) Be polite, my daughter, courteous; he
is an illustrious prince from afar; his country is not even on my map,
I have already looked it up; I have an amazing amount of respect for
him.

PRINCESS.

I am glad to have the pleasure of making your acquaintance.

NATHAN.

Beautiful Princess, the report of your beauty has been spread
so widely over the whole world that I have come here from a far
distant corner for the happiness of seeing you face to face.

KING.

Indeed it is astonishing, how many countries and kingdoms there
are! You would not believe how many thousand crown-princes have been
here already, to pay their addresses to my daughter; sometimes they
arrive by dozens, especially when the weather is fine--and now you
have come all the way from--I beg your pardon, topography is such a
very extensive subject--in what region does your country lie?

NATHAN.

Mighty king, if you travel from here first down the great
highway, then you turn to the right and go on; but when you reach a
mountain, turn to the left again, then you go to the ocean and sail
directly north (if the wind is favorable, of course), and so, if the
journey is successful, you reach my dominions in a year and a half.

KING.

The deuce! I must have my court scholar explain that to me. You
are probably a neighbor of the North Pole or Zodiac, or something like
that, I suppose!

NATHAN.

Not that I know of.

KING.

Perhaps somewhere near the savages?

NATHAN.

I beg your pardon, all my subjects are very tame.

KING.

But you must live confoundedly far away. I can't get a clear
idea of it yet.

NATHAN.

The geography of my country is still not exactly fixed; I
expect to discover more every day; and then it may easily come about
that we shall even become neighbors in the end.

KING.

That will be splendid! And if, after all, a few countries still
stand in our way, I will help you in your discoveries. My neighbor is
not a good friend of mine, so to speak, and he has a fine country; all
the raisins come from there; why, I should be only too glad to have
it! But another thing; do tell me, how, living so far away, can you
speak our language so fluently!

NATHAN.

Hush!

KING.

What?

NATHAN.

Hush! hush!

KING.

I do not understand.

NATHANIEL, (_softly to him_).

Do be quiet about it, pray, for
otherwise the audience down there will surely notice that it is really
very unnatural.

KING.

It doesn't matter. They clapped before and so I can afford to
take a chance.

NATHAN.

You see, it is only for the sake of the drama that I speak your
language; for otherwise, of course, the matter is incomprehensible.

KING.

Ah, so! Well, come, Prince, the table is set!

[_The_ PRINCE _escorts the princess out, the_ KING _precedes_.]

FISCHER.

Cursed improbabilities there are in this play!

SCHLOSS.

And the king doesn't remain at all true to his character.

LEUTNER.

Why, nothing but the natural should ever be presented on the
stage! The prince should speak an altogether unknown language and have
an interpreter with him; the princess should make grammatical errors,
since she herself admits that she writes incorrectly.

MUeLLER.

Of course! Of course! The whole thing is unquestionable
nonsense; the author himself is always forgetting what he has said the
moment before.

_The scene is laid in front of a tavern._

LORENZ, KUNZ, MICHEL _are sitting on a bench. The_ HOST

LORENZ.

I shall have to be going again soon! I still have a long way
home.

HOST.

You are a subject of the king, aren't you?

LORENZ.

Yes, indeed; what do you call your good ruler?

HOST.

He is just called Bugbear.

LORENZ.

That is a foolish title. Why, has he no other name?

HOST.

When he has edicts issued, they always read: For the good of the
public, the _Law_ demands--hence I believe that is his real name. All
petitions, too, are always laid before the _Law_. He is a fearful man.

LORENZ.

Still, I should rather be under a king; why, a king is more
dignified. They say the Bugbear is a very ungracious master.

HOST.

He is not especially gracious, that is true of course, but, on
the other hand, he is justice itself. Cases are even sent to him from
abroad and he must settle them.

LORENZ.

They say wonderful things about him; the story goes he can
transform himself into any animal.

HOST.

It is true, and then he travels around _incognito_ and spies out
the sentiments of his subjects; that's the very reason why we trust no
cat, no strange dog or horse, because we always think the ruler might
probably be inside of them.

LORENZ.

Then surely we are in a better position, too. Our king never
goes out without wearing his crown, his cloak, and his sceptre; by
these, he is known three hundred paces away. Well, take care of
yourselves.

[_Exit._]

HOST.

Now he is already in his own country.

KUNZ.

Is the border line so near?

HOST.

Surely, that very tree belongs to the king; you can see from
this very spot everything that goes on in his country; this border
line here is a lucky thing for me. I should have been bankrupt long
ago if the deserters from over there had not supported me; almost
every day several come.

MICHEL.

Is the service there so hard?

HOST.

Not that; but running away is so easy, and just because it is so
strictly forbidden the fellows get such an exceptional desire to
desert. Look, I bet that's another one coming!

[_A soldier comes running._]

SOLDIER.

A can of beer, host! Quick!

HOST.

Who are you?

SOLDIER.

A deserter.

MICHEL.

Perhaps 'twas his love for his parents which made him desert.
Poor fellow, do take pity on him, host.

HOST.

Why if he has money, there won't be any lack of beer. (_Goes
into the house_.)

[_Two hussars come riding and dismount_.]

1ST HUSS.

Well, thank God, we've got so far! Your health, neighbor!

SOLDIER.

This is the border.

2D HUSS.

Yes, Heaven be thanked! Didn't we have to ride for the sake
of that fellow? Beer, host!

HOST (_with several glasses_).

Here, gentlemen, a fine, cool drink;
you are all pretty warm.

1ST HUSS.

Here, you rascal! To your health!

SOLDIER.

Best thanks, I will meantime hold your horses for you.

2D HUSS.

The fellow can run! It's good that the border is never so
very far away; for otherwise it would be deucedly hard service.

1ST HUSS.

Well, we must go back, I suppose. Good-bye, deserter! Much
luck on your way!

[_They mount and ride away_.]

HOST.

Will you stay here?

SOLDIER.

No, I am going away; why I must enlist with the neighboring
duke.

HOST.

Say, come and see me when you desert again.

SOLDIER.

Certainly. Farewell!

[_They shake hands. Exeunt soldier and guests, exit host into the
house. The curtain falls_.]

INTERLUDE

FISCHER.

Why, it's getting wilder and wilder! What was the purpose of
the last scene, I wonder?

LEUTNER.

Nothing at all, it is entirely superfluous; only to introduce
some new nonsense. The theme of the cat is now lost entirely and there
is no fixed point of view at all.

SCHLOSS.

I feel exactly as though I were intoxicated.

MUeLLER.

I say, in what period is the play supposed to be taking place?
The hussars, of course, are a recent invention.

SCHLOSS.

We simply shouldn't bear it, but stamp hard. Now we haven't
the faintest idea of what the play is coming to.

FISCHER.

And no love, either! Nothing in it for the heart, for the
imagination.

LEUTNER.

As soon as any more of that nonsense occurs, for my part at
least, I'll begin to stamp.

WIESENER (_to his neighbor_).

I like the play now.

NEIGHBOR.

Very fine, indeed, very fine; a great man, the author; he
has imitated the _Magic Flute_ well.

WIESENER.

I liked the hussars particularly well; people seldom take
the risk of bringing horses on the stage--and why not? They often have
more sense than human beings. I would rather see a good horse than
many a human being in the more modern plays.

NEIGHBOR.

The Moors in Kotzebue--a horse is after all nothing but
another kind of Moor.

WIESENER.

Do you not know to what regiment the hussars belonged

NEIGHBOR.

I did not even look at them carefully. Too bad they went
away so soon--indeed I'd rather like to see a whole play with nothing
but hussars. I like the cavalry so much.

LEUTNER (_to_ BOeTTICHER).

What do you think of all this?

BOeTTICH.

Why, I simply can't get the excellent acting of the man who
plays the cat out of my head. What a study! What art! What
observation! What costuming!

SCHLOSS.

That is true; he really does look like a large tom-cat.

BOeTTICH.

And just notice his whole mask, as I would rather call his
costume, for since he has so completely disguised his natural
appearance, this expression is far more fitting. But I say, God bless
the ancients when blessing is due. You probably do not know that the
ancients acted all parts, without exception, in masks, as you will
find in _Athenaeus, Pollux_ and others. It is hard, you see, to know
all these things so accurately, because one must now and then look up
those books oneself to find them. At the same time, however, one then
has the advantage of being able to quote them. There is a difficult
passage in Pausanias.

FISCHER.

You were going to be kind enough to speak of the cat.

BOeTTICH.

Why, yes; and I only meant to say all the preceding by the
way, hence I beg you most earnestly to consider it as a note; and, to
return to the cat, have you noticed, I wonder, that he is not one of
those black cats? No, on the contrary, he is almost entirely white and
has only a few black spots; that expresses his good-nature
excellently; moreover, the theme of the whole play, all the emotions
to which it should appeal, are suggested in this very fur.

LEUTNER.

That is true.

FISCHER.

The curtain is going up again!

ACT II

_Room in a peasant's house_

GOTTLIEB, HINZE. _Both are sitting at a small table and eating_.

GOTTLIEB.

Did it taste good?

HINZE.

Very good, very fine.

GOTTLIEB.

But now my fate must soon be determined, for otherwise I do
not know what I am to do.

HINZE.

Just have patience a few days longer; why, good fortune must
have some time to grow; who would expect to become happy all of a
sudden, so to speak? My good man, that happens only in books; in the
world of reality things do not move so quickly.

FISCHER.

Now just listen, the cat dares to speak of the world of
reality! I feel almost like going home, for I'm afraid I shall go mad.

LEUTNER.

It looks almost as if that is what the writer intended.

MUeLLER.

A splendid kind of artistic enjoyment, to be mad, I must
admit!

GOTTLIEB.

If I only knew, dear Hinze, how you have come by this amount
of experience, this intelligence!

HINZE.

Are you, then, under the impression that it is in vain one lies
for days at the stove with one's eyes tight shut? I always kept
studying there quietly. In secret and unobserved does the power of the
intelligence grow; hence it is a sign that one has made the least
progress when one sometimes has a mind to crane one's neck around as
far as possible, so as to look back at the ground one has already
covered. Now do be kind enough to untie my napkin.

GOTTLIEB (_does it_).

A blessing on good food! (_They kiss._) Content
yourself with that.

HINZE.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

GOTTLIEB.

The boots fit very nicely, and you have a charming little
foot.

HINZE.

That is only because we always walk on our toes, as you must
already have read in your natural history.

GOTTLIEB.

I have great respect for you--on account of the boots.

HINZE (_hangs a soldier's knapsack about his neck_).

I am going now.
See, I have also made myself a bag with a drawing-string.

GOTTLIEB.

What's it all for?

HINZE.

Just let me alone! I want to be a hunter. Why, where is my
cane?

GOTTLIEB.

Here.

HINZE.

Well, then, good-bye.

[_Exit._]

GOTTLIEB.

A hunter? I can't understand the man.

[_Exit._]

_Open Field_

HINZE (_with cane, knapsack, and bag_).

Splendid weather! It's such a
beautiful, warm day; afterward I must lie down a bit in the sun. (_He
spreads out his bag._) Well, fortune, stand by me. Of course, when I
think that this capricious goddess of fortune so seldom favors
shrewdly laid plans, that she always ends up by disgracing the
intelligence of mortals, I feel as though I should lose all my
courage. Yet, be quiet, my heart; a kingdom is certainly worth the
trouble of working and sweating some for it! If only there are no dogs
around here; I can't bear those creatures at all; it is a race that I
despise because they so willingly submit to the lowest servitude to
human beings. They can't do anything but either fawn or bite; they
haven't fashionable manners at all, a thing which is so necessary in
company. There's no game to be caught. (_He begins to sing a hunting
song: "I steal through the woods so still and wild," etc. A
nightingale in the bush near-by begins to sing._) She sings
gloriously, the songstress of the grove; but how delicious she must
taste! The great people of the earth are, after all, right lucky in
the fact that they can eat as many nightingales and larks as they
like; we poor common people must content ourselves with their singing,
with the beauty in nature, with the incomprehensibly sweet harmony.
It's a shame I can't hear anything sing without getting a desire to
eat it. Nature! Nature! Why do you always destroy my finest emotions
by having created me thus! I feel almost like taking off my boots and
softly climbing up that tree yonder; she must be perching there.
(_Stamping in the pit._) The nightingale is good-natured not to let
herself be interrupted even by this martial music; she must taste
delicious; I am forgetting all about my hunting with these sweet
dreams. Truly, there's no game to be caught. Why, who's there?

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36