Reminiscences of Scottish Life and Character by Edward Bannerman Ramsay

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On the subject of the old Scottish domestic, I have to acknowledge a
kind communication from Lord Kinloch, which I give in his Lordship's
words:--"My father had been in the counting-house of the well-known
David Dale, the founder of the Lanark Mills, and eminent for his
benevolence. Mr. Dale, who it would appear was a short stout man, had a
person in his employment named Matthew, who was permitted that
familiarity with his master which was so characteristic of the former
generation. One winter day Mr. Dale came into the counting-house, and
complained that he had fallen on the ice. Matthew, who saw that his
master was not much hurt, grinned a sarcastic smile. 'I fell all my
length,' said Mr. Dale. 'Nae great length, sir,' said Matthew. 'Indeed,
Matthew, ye need not laugh,' said Mr. Dale; 'I have hurt the sma' o' my
back.' 'I wunner whaur _that_ is,' said Matthew." Indeed, specimens
like Matthew, of serving-men of the former time, have latterly been fast
going out, but I remember one or two such. A lady of my acquaintance had
one named John in her house at Portobello. I remember how my modern
ideas were offended by John's familiarity when waiting at table. "Some
more wine, John," said his mistress. "There's some i' the bottle, mem,"
said John. A little after, "Mend the fire, John." "The fire's weel
eneuch, mem," replied the impracticable John. Another "John" of my
acquaintance was in the family of Mrs. Campbell of Ardnave, mother of
the Princess Polignac and the Hon. Mrs. Archibald Macdonald. A young
lady visiting in the family asked John at dinner for a potato. John made
no response. The request was repeated; when John, putting his mouth to
her ear, said, very audibly, "There's jist twa in the dish, and they
maun be keepit for the strangers."

The following was sent me by a kind correspondent--a learned Professor
in India--as a sample of _squabbling_ between Scottish servants. A
mistress observing something peculiar in her maid's manner, addressed
her, "Dear me, Tibbie, what are you so snappish about, that you go
knocking the things as you dust them?" "Ou, mem, it's Jock." "Well, what
has Jock been doing?" "Ou (with an indescribable, but easily imaginable
toss of the head), he was angry at me, an' misca'd me, an' I said I was
juist as the Lord had made me, an'----" "Well, Tibbie?" "An' he said the
Lord could hae had little to dae whan he made me." The idea of Tibbie
being the work of an idle moment was one, the deliciousness of which was
not likely to be relished by the lassie.

The following characteristic anecdote of a Highland servant I have
received from the same correspondent. An English gentleman, travelling
in the Highlands, was rather late of coming down to dinner. Donald was
sent up stairs to intimate that all was ready. He speedily returned,
nodding significantly, as much as to say that it was all right. "But,
Donald," said the master, after some further trial of a hungry man's
patience, "are ye sure ye made the gentleman understand?"
"_Understand?_" retorted Donald (who had peeped into the room and found
the guest engaged at his toilet), "I'se warrant ye he understands; he's
_sharping_ his teeth,"--not supposing the tooth-brush could be for any
other use.

There have been some very amusing instances given of the matter-of-fact
obedience paid to orders by Highland retainers when made to perform the
ordinary duties of domestic servants; as when Mr. Campbell, a Highland
gentleman, visiting in a country house, and telling Donald to bring
everything out of the bedroom, found all its movable articles--fender,
fire-irons, etc.--piled up in the lobby; so literal was the poor man's
sense of obedience to orders! And of this he gave a still more
extraordinary proof during his sojourn in Edinburgh, by a very ludicrous
exploit. When the family moved into a house there, Mrs. Campbell gave
him very particular instructions regarding visitors, explaining that
they were to be shown into the drawing-room, and no doubt used the
Scotticism, "_Carry_ any ladies that call up stairs." On the arrival of
the first visitors, Donald was eager to show his strict attention to the
mistress's orders. Two ladies came together, and Donald, seizing one in
his arms, said to the other, "Bide ye there till I come for ye," and, in
spite of her struggles and remonstrances, ushered the terrified visitor
into Mrs. Campbell's presence in this unwonted fashion.

Another case of _literal_ obedience to orders produced a somewhat
startling form of message. A servant of an old maiden lady, a patient of
Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor
every morning to report the state of her health, how she had slept,
etc., with strict injunctions _always_ to add, "with her compliments."
At length, one morning the girl brought this extraordinary
message:--"Miss S----'s compliments, and she dee'd last night at
aicht o'clock!"

I recollect, in Montrose (that fruitful field for old Scottish
stories!), a most naive reply from an honest lass, servant to old Mrs.
_Captain_ Fullerton. A party of gentlemen had dined with Mrs. Fullerton,
and they had a turkey for dinner. Mrs. F. proposed that one of the legs
should be _deviled_, and the gentlemen have it served up as a relish for
their wine. Accordingly one of the company skilled in the mystery
prepared it with pepper, cayenne, mustard, ketchup, etc. He gave it to
Lizzy, and told her to take it down to the kitchen, supposing, as a
matter of course, she would know that it was to be broiled, and brought
back in due time. But in a little while, when it was rung for, Lizzy
very innocently replied that she had eaten it up. As it was sent back to
the kitchen, her only idea was that it must be for herself. But on
surprise being expressed that she had eaten what was so highly peppered
and seasoned, she very quaintly answered, "Ou, I liket it a'
the better."

A well-known servant of the old school was John, the servant of Pitfour,
Mr. Ferguson, M.P., himself a most eccentric character, long father of
the House of Commons, and a great friend of Pitt. John used to
entertain the tenants, on Pitfour's brief visits to his estate, with
numerous anecdotes of his master and Mr. Pitt; but he always prefaced
them with something in the style of Cardinal Wolsey's _Ego et rex
meus_--with "Me, and Pitt, and Pitfour," went somewhere, or performed
some exploit. The famous Duchess of Gordon once wrote a note to John
(the name of this eccentric valet), and said, "John, put Pitfour into
the carriage on Tuesday, and bring him up to Gordon Castle to dinner."
After sufficiently scratching his head, and considering what he should
do, he showed the letter to Pitfour, who smiled, and said drily, "Well,
John, I suppose we must go."

An old domestic of this class gave a capital reason to his _young_
master for his being allowed to do as he liked:--"Ye needna find faut
wi' me, Maister Jeems; _I hae been langer aboot the place than yersel_."

It may seem ungracious to close this chapter with a communication which
appears to convey an unfavourable impression of an old servant. But the
truth is, real and attached domestic service does not offer its
pleasures and advantages without some alloy of annoyance, and yet how
much the solid benefits prevail over any occasional drawbacks!

The late Rev. Mr. Leslie of St. Andrew-Lhanbryd, a parish in Morayshire,
in describing an old servant who had been with him thirty years, said,
"The first ten years she was an excellent servant; the second ten she
was a good mistress; but the third ten she was a perfect tyrant."

CHAPTER THE FIFTH.

SCOTTISH JUDGES.

There is no class of men which stands out more prominent in the
reminiscences of the last hundred years than that of our SCOTTISH
JUDGES. They form, in many instances, a type or representative of the
leading _peculiarities_ of Scottish life and manners. They are mixed up
with all our affairs, social and political. There are to be found in the
annals of the bench rich examples of pure Scottish humour, the strongest
peculiarity of Scottish phraseology, acuteness of intellect, cutting
wit, eccentricity of manners, and abundant powers of conviviality. Their
successors no longer furnish the same anecdotes of oddity or of
intemperance. The Courts of the Scottish Parliament House, without
lacking the learning or the law of those who sat there sixty years ago,
lack not the refinement and the dignity that have long distinguished the
Courts of Westminster Hall.

Stories still exist, traditionary in society, amongst its older members,
regarding Lords Gardenstone, Monboddo, Hermand, Newton, Polkemmet,
Braxfield, etc. But many younger persons do not know them. It may be
interesting to some of my readers to devote a few pages to the subject,
and to offer some judicial gleanings[44].

I have two anecdotes to show that, both in social and judicial life, a
remarkable change must have taken place amongst the "fifteen." I am
assured that the following scene took place at the _table_ of Lord
Polkemmet, at a dinner party in his house. When the covers were removed,
the dinner was seen to consist of veal broth, a roast fillet of veal,
veal cutlets, a florentine (an excellent old Scottish dish composed of
veal), a calf's head, calf's foot jelly. The worthy judge could not help
observing a surprise on the countenance of his guests, and perhaps a
simper on some; so he broke out in explanation: "Ou ay, it's a cauf;
when we kill a beast we just eat up ae side, and down the tither." The
expressions he used to describe his own _judicial_ preparations for the
bench were very characteristic: "Ye see I first read a' the pleadings,
and then, after lettin' them wamble in my wame wi' the toddy twa or
three days, I gie my ain interlocutor." For a moment suppose such
anecdotes to be told now of any of our high legal functionaries. Imagine
the feelings of surprise that would be called forth were the present
Justice-Clerk to adopt such imagery in describing the process of
preparing _his_ legal judgment on a difficult case in his court!

In regard to the wit of the Scottish _bar_.--It is a subject which I do
not pretend to illustrate. It would require a volume for itself. One
anecdote, however, I cannot resist, and I record it as forming a
striking example of the class of Scottish humour which, with our
dialect, has lost its distinctive characteristics. John Clerk
(afterwards a judge by the title of Lord Eldin) was arguing a Scotch
appeal case before the House of Lords. His client claimed the use of a
mill-stream by a prescriptive right. Mr. Clerk spoke broad Scotch, and
argued that "the _watter_ had rin that way for forty years. Indeed
naebody kenn'd how long, and why should his client now be deprived of
the watter?" etc. The chancellor, much amused at the pronunciation of
the Scottish advocate, in a rather bantering tone asked him, "Mr. Clerk,
do you spell water in Scotland with two t's?" Clerk, a little nettled at
this hit at his national tongue, answered, "Na, my Lord, we dinna spell
watter (making the word as short as he could) wi' twa t's, but we spell
mainners (making the word as long as he could) wi' twa n's."

John Clerk's vernacular version of the motto of the Celtic Club is
highly characteristic of his humour and his prejudice. He had a strong
dislike to the whole Highland race, and the motto assumed by the modern
Celts, "Olim marte, nunc arte," Clerk translated "Formerly robbers, now
thieves." Quite equal to Swift's celebrated remark on William III.'s
motto--_Recepit, non rapuit_--"that the receiver was as bad as the
thief." Very dry and pithy too was Clerk's legal _opinion_ given to a
claimant of the Annandale peerage, who, when pressing the employment of
some obvious forgeries, was warned that if he persevered, nae doot he
might be a peer, but it would be a peer o' anither _tree!_

The clever author of "Peter's Letters" gives an elaborate description of
Clerk's character whilst at the bar, and speaks of him as "the plainest,
the shrewdest, and the most sarcastic of men." Nor could he entirely
repress these peculiarities when raised to the bench under the title of
Lord Eldin.

His defence of a young friend, who was an advocate, and had incurred
the displeasure of the Judges, has often been repeated. Mr. Clerk had
been called upon to offer his apologies for disrespect, or implied
disrespect, in his manner of addressing the Bench. The advocate had
given great offence by expressing his "_astonishment_" at something
which had emanated from their Lordships, implying by it his disapproval.
He got Lord Eldin, who was connected with him, to make an apology for
him. But Clerk could not resist his humorous vein by very equivocally
adding, "My client has expressed his astonishment, my Lords, at what he
had met with here; if my young friend had known this court as long as I
have, he would have been _astonished at nothing_."

A kind Perthshire correspondent has sent me a characteristic anecdote,
which has strong internal evidence of being genuine. When Clerk was
raised to the Bench he presented his credentials to the Court, and,
according to custom, was received by the presiding Judge--who, on this
occasion, in a somewhat sarcastic tone, referred to the delay which had
taken place in his reaching a position for which he had so long been
qualified, and to which he must have long aspired. He hinted at the long
absence of the Whig party from political power as the cause of this
delay, which offended Clerk; and he paid it off by intimating in his
pithy and bitter tone, which he could so well assume, that it was not of
so much consequence--"Because," as he said, "ye see, my Lord, I was not
juist sae sune _doited_ as some o' your Lordships."

The following account of his conducting a case is also highly
characteristic. Two individuals, the one a mason, the other a carpenter,
both residenters in West Portsburgh, formed a copartnery, and commenced
building houses within the boundaries of the burgh corporation. One of
the partners was a freeman, the other not. The corporation, considering
its rights invaded by a non-freeman exercising privileges only accorded
to one of their body, brought an action in the Court of Session against
the interloper, and his partner as aiding and abetting. Mr. John Clerk,
then an advocate, was engaged for the defendants. How the cause was
decided matters little. What was really curious in the affair was the
naively droll manner in which the advocate for the defence opened his
pleading before the Lord Ordinary. "My Lord," commenced John, in his
purest Doric, at the same time pushing up his spectacles to his brow and
hitching his gown over his shoulders, "I wad hae thocht naething o't
(the action), had hooses been a new invention, and my clients been
caught ouvertly impingin' on the patent richts o' the inventors!"

Of Lord Gardenstone (Francis Garden) I have many early _personal_
reminiscences, as his property of Johnstone was in the Howe of the
Mearns, not far from my early home. He was a man of energy, and promoted
improvements in the county with skill and practical sagacity. His
favourite scheme was to establish a flourishing town upon his property,
and he spared no pains or expense in promoting the importance of his
village of Laurencekirk. He built an excellent inn, to render it a stage
for posting. He built and endowed an Episcopal chapel for the benefit of
his English immigrants, in the vestry of which he placed a most
respectable library; and he encouraged manufacturers of all kinds to
settle in the place. Amongst others, as we have seen, came the hatter
who found only three hats in the kirk. His lordship was much taken up
with his hotel or inn, and for which he provided a large volume for
receiving the written contributions of travellers who frequented it. It
was the landlady's business to present this volume to the guests, and
ask them to write in it during the evenings whatever occurred to their
memory or their imagination. In the mornings it was a favourite
amusement of Lord Gardenstone to look it over. I recollect Sir Walter
Scott being much taken with this contrivance, and his asking me about it
at Abbotsford. His son said to him, "You should establish such a book,
sir, at Melrose;" upon which Sir W. replied, "No, Walter; I should just
have to see a great deal of abuse of myself." On his son deprecating
such a result, and on his observing my surprised look, he answered,
"Well, well, I should have to read a great deal of foolish praise, which
is much the same thing." An amusing account is given of the cause of
Lord Gardenstone withdrawing this volume from the hotel, and of his
determination to submit it no more to the tender mercies of the passing
traveller. As Professor Stuart of Aberdeen was passing an evening at the
inn, the volume was handed to him, and he wrote in it the following
lines, in the style of the prophecies of Thomas the Rhymer:--

"Frae sma' beginnings Rome of auld
Became a great imperial city;
'Twas peopled first, as we are tauld,
By bankrupts, vagabonds, banditti.
Quoth Thamas, Then the day may come,
When Laurencekirk shall equal Rome."

These lines so nettled Lord Gardenstone, that the volume disappeared,
and was never seen afterwards in the inn of Laurencekirk. There is
another lingering reminiscence which I retain connected with the inn at
Laurencekirk. The landlord, Mr. Cream, was a man well known throughout
all the county, and was distinguished, in his later years, as one of the
few men who continued to wear a _pigtail_. On one occasion the late Lord
Dunmore (grandfather or great-grandfather of the present peer), who also
still wore his queue, halted for a night at Laurencekirk. On the host
leaving the room, where he had come to take orders for supper, Lord
Dunmore turned to his valet and said, "Johnstone, do I look as like a
fool in my pigtail as Billy Cream does?"--"Much about it, my lord," was
the valet's imperturbable answer. "Then," said his lordship, "cut off
mine to-morrow morning when I dress."

Lord Gardenstone seemed to have had two favourite tastes: he indulged in
the love of pigs and the love of snuff. He took a young pig as a pet,
and it became quite tame, and followed him about like a dog. At first
the animal shared his bed, but when, growing up to advanced swinehood,
it became unfit for such companionship, he had it to sleep in his room,
in which he made a comfortable couch for it of his own clothes. His
snuff he kept not in a box, but in a leathern waist-pocket made for the
purpose. He took it in enormous quantities, and used to say that if he
had a dozen noses he would feed them all. Lord Gardenstone died 1793.

Lord Monboddo (James Burnet, Esq. of Monboddo) is another of the
well-known members of the Scottish Bench, who combined, with many
eccentricities of opinion and habits, great learning and a most amiable
disposition. From his paternal property being in the county of
Kincardine, and Lord M. being a visitor at my father's house, and
indeed a relation or clansman, I have many early reminiscences of
stories which I have heard of the learned judge. His speculations
regarding the origin of the human race have, in times past, excited much
interest and amusement. His theory was that man emerged from a wild and
savage condition, much resembling that of apes; that man had then a tail
like other animals, but which by progressive civilisation and the
constant habit of _sitting_, had become obsolete. This theory produced
many a joke from facetious and superficial people, who had never read
any of the arguments of the able and elaborate work, by which the
ingenious and learned author maintained his theory[45]. Lord Kames, a
brother judge, had his joke on it. On some occasion of their meeting,
Lord Monboddo was for giving Lord Kames the precedency. Lord K.
declined, and drew back, saying, "By no means, my lord; you must walk
first, that I may _see your tail_." I recollect Lord Monboddo's coming
to dine at Fasque caused a great excitement of interest and curiosity. I
was in the nursery, too young to take part in the investigations; but my
elder brothers were on the alert to watch his arrival, and get a glimpse
of his tail. Lord M. was really a learned man, read Greek and Latin
authors--not as a mere exercise of classical scholarship--but because he
identified himself with their philosophical opinions, and would have
revived Greek customs and modes of life. He used to give suppers after
the manner of the ancients, and used to astonish his guests by the
ancient cookery of Spartan broth, and of _mulsum_. He was an
enthusiastical Platonist. On a visit to Oxford, he was received with
great respect by the scholars of the University, who were much
interested in meeting with one who had studied Plato as a pupil and
follower. In accordance with the old custom at learned universities,
Lord Monboddo was determined to address the Oxonians in Latin, which he
spoke with much readiness. But they could not stand the numerous slips
in prosody. Lord Monboddo shocked the ears of the men of Eton and of
Winchester by dreadful false quantities--verse-making being, in
Scotland, then quite neglected, and a matter little thought of by the
learned judge.

Lord Monboddo was considered an able lawyer, and on many occasions
exhibited a very clear and correct judicial discernment of intricate
cases. It was one of his peculiarities that he never sat on the bench
with his brother judges, but always at the clerk's table. Different
reasons for this practice have been given, but the simple fact seems to
have been, that he was deaf, and heard better at the lower seat. His
mode of travelling was on horseback. He scorned carriages, on the ground
of its being unmanly to "sit in a box drawn by brutes." When he went to
London he rode the whole way. At the same period, Mr. Barclay of Ury
(father of the well-known Captain Barclay), when he represented
Kincardineshire in Parliament, always _walked_ to London. He was a very
powerful man, and could walk fifty miles a day, his usual refreshment on
the road being a bottle of port wine, poured into a bowl, and drunk off
at a draught. I have heard that George III. was much interested at these
performances, and said, "I ought to be proud of my Scottish subjects,
when my judges _ride_, and my members of Parliament _walk_ to the
metropolis."

On one occasion of his being in London, Lord Monboddo attended a trial
in the Court of King's Bench. A cry was heard that the roof of the
court-room was giving way, upon which judges, lawyers, and people made
a rush to get to the door. Lord Monboddo viewed the scene from his
corner with much composure. Being deaf and short-sighted, he knew
nothing of the cause of the tumult. The alarm proved a false one; and on
being asked why he had not bestirred himself to escape like the rest, he
coolly answered that he supposed it was an _annual ceremony_, with
which, as an alien to the English laws, he had no concern, but which he
considered it interesting to witness as a remnant of antiquity! Lord
Monboddo died 1799.

Lord Rockville (the Hon. Alexander Gordon, third son of the Earl of
Aberdeen) was a judge distinguished in his day by his ability and
decorum. "He adorned the bench by the dignified manliness of his
appearance, and polished urbanity of his manners[46]." Like most lawyers
of his time, he took his glass freely, and a whimsical account which he
gave, before he was advanced to the bench, of his having fallen upon his
face, after making too free with the bottle, was commonly current at the
time. Upon his appearing late at a convivial club with a most rueful
expression of countenance, and on being asked what was the matter, he
exclaimed with great solemnity, "Gentlemen, I have just met with the
most extraordinary adventure that ever occurred to a human being. As I
was walking along the Grassmarket, all of a sudden _the street rose up
and struck me on the face_." He had, however, a more serious _encounter_
with the street after he was a judge. In 1792, his foot slipped as he
was going to the Parliament House; he broke his leg, was taken home,
fevered, and died.

Lord Braxfield (Robert M'Queen of Braxfield) was one of the judges of
the old school, well known in his day, and might be said to possess all
the qualities united, by which the class were remarkable. He spoke the
broadest Scotch. He was a sound and laborious lawyer. He was fond of a
glass of good claret, and had a great fund of good Scotch humour. He
rose to the dignity of Justice-Clerk, and, in consequence, presided at
many important political criminal trials about the year 1793-4, such as
those of Muir, Palmer, Skirving, Margarot, Gerrold, etc. He conducted
these trials with much ability and great firmness, occasionally, no
doubt, with more appearance of severity and personal prejudice than is
usual with the judges who in later times are called on to preside on
similar occasions. The disturbed temper of the times and the daring
spirit of the political offenders seemed, he thought, to call for a bold
and fearless front on the part of the judge, and Braxfield was the man
to show it, both on the bench and in common life. He met, however,
sometimes with a spirit as bold as his own from the prisoners before
him. When Skirving was on trial for sedition, he thought Braxfield was
threatening him, and by gesture endeavouring to intimidate him;
accordingly, he boldly addressed the Bench:--"It is altogether
unavailing for your Lordship to menace me, for I have long learnt not to
fear the face of man." I have observed that he adhered to the _broadest_
Scottish dialect. "Hae ye ony coonsel, man?" he said to Maurice Margarot
(who, I believe, was an Englishman). "No," was the reply. "Div ye want
to hae ony appinted?" "No," replied Margarot; "I only want an
_interpreter_ to make me understand what your Lordship says." A
prisoner, accused of stealing some linen garments, was one day brought
up for trial before the old judge, but was acquitted because the
prosecutor had charged him with stealing shirts, whereas the articles
stolen were found to be shifts--female apparel. Braxfield indignantly
remarked that the Crown Counsel should have called them by the Scottish
name of _sarks_, which applied to both sexes.

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