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Clarissa Harlowe, Volume 9 (of 9) by Samuel Richardson

S >> Samuel Richardson >> Clarissa Harlowe, Volume 9 (of 9)




As how, Madam?

'Why, you must marry, my dear, and have none of these options; but, in
every thing, do as your husband commands you.'

This is very hard, you will own, Sir, for such a one as me to think of.
And yet, engaged to enter into that state, as I am, how can I help
myself? My mother presses me; my friend, my beloved friend, writing as
from the dead, presses me; and you and Mr. Morden, as executors of her
will, remind me; the man is not afraid of me, [I am sure, were I the man,
I should not have half his courage;] and I think I ought to conclude to
punish him (the only effectual way I have to do it) for his perverse
adherence and persecution, with the grant of his own wishes; a punishment
which many others who enjoy their's very commonly experience.

Let me then assure you, Sir, that when I can find, in the words of my
charming friend in her will, writing of her cousin Hervey, that my grief
for her is mellowed by time into a remembrance more sweet than painful,
that I may not be utterly unworthy of the passion a man of some merit has
for me, I will answer the request of my dear friend, so often repeated,
and so earnestly pressed; and Mr. Hickman shall find, if he continue to
deserve my gratitude, that my endeavours shall not be wanting to make him
amends for the patience he has had, and must still a little while longer
have with me: and then will it be his own fault (I hope not mine) if our
marriage answer not those happy prognostics, which filled her generous
presaging mind, upon this view, as she once, for my encouragement, and to
induce me to encourage him, told me.

Thus, Sir, have I, in a very free manner, accounted to you, as to the
executor of my beloved friend, for all that relates to you, as such, to
know; and even for more than I needed to do, against myself; only that
you will find as much against me in some of her letters; and so, losing
nothing, I gain the character of ingenuousness with you.

And thus much for the double reprimand, on my delaying my part of the
performance of my dear friend's will.

And now, while you are admonishing me on this subject, let me remind you
of one great article relating to yourself: it is furnished me by my dear
creature's posthumous letter to you--I hope you will not forget, that the
most benevolent of her sex expresses herself as earnestly concerned for
your thorough reformation, as she does for my marrying. You'll see to
it, then, that her wishes are as completely answered in that particular,
as you are desirous they should be in all others.

I have, I own, disobeyed her in one article; and that is, where she
desires I would not put myself into mourning. I could not help it.

I send this and mine of Saturday last together; and will not add another
word, after I have told you that I think myself

Your obliged servant,
A. HOWE.



LETTER L

MR. BELFORD, TO MISS HOWE
THURSDAY NIGHT, OCT. 5.


I return you, Madam, my most respectful thanks for your condescending
hint, in relation to the pious wishes of your exalted friend for my
thorough reformation.

I will only say, that it will be my earnest and unwearied endeavour to
make those generous wishes effectual: and I hope for the Divine blessing
upon such my endeavours, or else I know they will be in vain.

I cannot, Madam, express how much I think myself obliged to you for your
farther condescension, in writing to me so frankly the state of your past
and present mind, in relation to the single and matrimonial life. If the
lady by whom, as the executor of her inimitable friend, I am thus
honoured, has failings, never were failings so lovely in woman!--How much
more lovely, indeed, than the virtues of many of her sex!

I might have ventured into the hands of such a lady the Colonel's
original letter entire. The worthy gentleman exceedingly admires you;
and this caution was the effect of his politeness only, and of his regard
for you.

I send you, Madam, a letter from Lord M. to myself; and the copies of
three others written in consequence of that. These will acquaint you
with Mr. Lovelace's departure from England, and with other particulars,
which you will be curious to know.

Be pleased to keep to yourself such of the contents as your own prudence
will suggest to you ought not to be seen by any body else.

I am, Madam, with the profoundest and most grateful respect,

Your faithful and obliged humble servant,
JOHN BELFORD.



LETTER LI

LORD M. TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
M. HALL, FRIDAY, SEPT. 29.


DEAR SIR,

My kinsman Lovelace is now setting out for London; proposing to see you,
and then to go to Dover, and so embark. God send him well out of the
kingdom!

On Monday he will be with you, I believe. Pray let me be favoured with
an account of all your conversations; for Mr. Mowbray and Mr. Tourville
are to be there too; and whether you think he is grown quite his own man
again.

What I mostly write for is, to wish you to keep Colonel Morden and him
asunder; and so I give you notice of his going to town. I should be very
loth there should be any mischief between them, as you gave me notice
that the Colonel threatened my nephew. But my kinsman would not bear
that; so nobody let him know that he did. But I hope there is no fear;
for the Colonel does not, as I hear, threaten now. For his own sake, I
am glad of that; for there is not such a man in the world as my kinsman
is said to be, at all the weapons--as well he was not; he would not be so
daring.

We shall all here miss the wild fellow. To be sure, there is no man
better company when he pleases.

Pray, do you never travel thirty or forty miles? I should be glad to see
you here at M. Hall. It will be charity when my kinsman is gone; for we
suppose you will be his chief correspondent; although he has promised to
write to my nieces often. But he is very apt to forget his promises; to
us his relations particularly. God preserve us all; Amen! prays

Your very humble servant,
M.



LETTER LII

MR. BELFORD, TO LORD M.
LONDON, TUESDAY NIGHT, OCT. 3.


MY LORD,

I obey your Lordship's commands with great pleasure.

Yesterday in the afternoon Mr. Lovelace made me a visit at my lodgings.
As I was in expectation of one from Colonel Morden about the same time,
I thought proper to carry him to a tavern which neither of us frequented,
(on pretence of a half-appointment;) ordering notice to be sent me
thither, if the Colonel came; and Mr. Lovelace sent to Mowbray, and
Tourville, and Mr. Doleman of Uxbridge, (who came to town to take leave
of him,) to let them know where to find us.

Mr. Lovelace is too well recovered, I was going to say. I never saw him
more gay, lively, and handsome. We had a good deal of bluster about some
parts of the trust I had engaged in; and upon freedoms I had treated him
with; in which, he would have it, that I had exceeded our agreed-upon
limits; but on the arrival of our three old companions, and a nephew of
Mr. Doleman's, (who had a good while been desirous to pass an hour with
Mr. Lovelace,) it blew off for the present.

Mr. Mowbray and Mr. Tourville had also taken some exceptions at the
freedoms of my pen; and Mr. Lovelace, after his way, took upon him to
reconcile us; and did it at the expense of all three; and with such an
infinite run of humour and raillery, that we had nothing to do but to
laugh at what he said, and at one another. I can deal tolerably with
him at my pen; but in conversation he has no equal. In short, it was his
day. He was glad, he said, to find himself alive; and his two friends,
clapping and rubbing their hands twenty times in an hour, declared, that
now, once more, he was all himself--the charming'st fellow in the world;
and they would follow him to the farthest part of the globe.

I threw a bur upon his coat now-and-then; but none would stick.

Your Lordship knows, that there are many things which occasion a roar of
applause in conversation, when the heart is open, and men are resolved to
be merry, which will neither bear repeating, nor thinking of afterwards.
Common things, in the mouth of a man we admire, and whose wit has passed
upon us for sterling, become, in a gay hour, uncommon. We watch every
turn of such a one's countenance, and are resolved to laugh when he
smiles, even before he utters what we are expecting to flow from his
lips.

Mr. Doleman and his nephew took leave of us by twelve, Mowbray and
Tourville grew very noisy by one, and were carried off by two. Wine
never moves Mr. Lovelace, notwithstanding a vivacity which generally
helps on over-gay spirits. As to myself, the little part I had taken
in the gaiety kept me unconcerned.

The clock struck three before I could get him into any serious or
attentive way--so natural to him is gaiety of heart; and such strong
hold had the liveliness of the evening taken of him. His conversation,
you know, my Lord, when his heart is free, runs off to the bottom without
any dregs.

But after that hour, and when we thought of parting, he became a little
more serious: and then he told me his designs, and gave me a plan of his
intended tour; wishing heartily that I could have accompanied him.

We parted about four; he not a little dissatisfied with me; for we had
some talk about subjects, which, he said, he loved not to think of; to
whit, Miss Harlowe's will; my executorship; papers I had in confidence
communicated to that admirable lady (with no unfriendly design, I assure
your Lordship;) and he insisting upon, and I refusing, the return of the
letters he had written to me, from the time that he had made his first
addresses to her.

He would see me once again, he said; and it would be upon very ill terms
if I complied not with his request. Which I bid him not expect. But,
that I might not deny him every thing, I told him, that I would give him
a copy of the will; though I was sure, I said, when he read it, he would
wish he had never seen it.

I had a message from him about eleven this morning, desiring me to name
a place at which to dine with him, and Mowbray, and Tourville, for the
last time: and soon after another from Colonel Morden, inviting me to
pass the evening with him at the Bedford-head in Covent-Garden. And,
that I might keep them at distance from one another, I appointed Mr.
Lovelace at the Eagle in Suffolk-street.

There I met him, and the two others. We began where we left off at our
last parting; and were very high with each other. But, at last, all was
made up, and he offered to forget and forgive every thing, on condition
that I would correspond with him while abroad, and continue the series
which had been broken through by his illness; and particularly give him,
as I had offered, a copy of the lady's last will.

I promised him: and he then fell to rallying me on my gravity, and on my
reformation-schemes, as he called them. As we walked about the room,
expecting dinner to be brought in, he laid his hand upon my shoulder;
then pushed me from him with a curse; walking round me, and surveying me
from head to foot; then calling for the observations of the others, he
turned round upon his heel, and with one of his peculiar wild airs, 'Ha,
ha, ha, ha,' burst he out, 'that these sour-faced proselytes should take
it into their heads that they cannot be pious, without forfeiting both
their good-nature and good-manners!--Why, Jack,' turning me about,
'pr'ythee look up, man!--Dost thou not know, that religion, if it has
taken proper hold of the heart, is the most cheerful countenance-maker
in the world?--I have heard my beloved Miss Harlowe say so: and she knew,
or nobody did. And was not her aspect a benign proof of the observation?
But thy these wamblings in thy cursed gizzard, and thy awkward grimaces,
I see thou'rt but a novice in it yet!--Ah, Belford, Belford, thou hast
a confounded parcel of briers and thorns to trample over barefoot, before
religion will illuminate these gloomy features!'

I give your Lordship this account, in answer to your desire to know, if I
think him the man he was.

In our conversation at dinner, he was balancing whether he should set out
the next morning, or the morning after. But finding he had nothing to
do, and Col. Morden being in town, (which, however, I told him not of,) I
turned the scale; and he agreed upon setting out to-morrow morning; they
to see him embark; and I promised to accompany them for a morning's ride
(as they proposed their horses); but said, that I must return in the
afternoon.

With much reluctance they let me go to my evening's appointment: they
little thought with whom: for Mr. Lovelace had put it as a case of honour
to all of us, whether, as he had been told that Mr. Morden and Mr. James
Harlowe had thrown out menaces against him, he ought to leave the kingdom
till he had thrown himself in their way.

Mowbray gave his opinion, that he ought to leave it like a man of honour
as he was; and if he did not take those gentlemen to task for their
opprobrious speeches, that at least he should be seen by them in public
before he went away; else they might give themselves airs, as if he had
left the kingdom in fear of them.

To this he himself so much inclined, that it was with difficulty I
persuaded him, that, as they had neither of them proceeded to a direct
and formal challenge; as they knew he had not made himself difficult of
access; and as he had already done the family injury enough; and it was
Miss Harlowe's earnest desire, that he would be content with that; he had
no reason, from any point of honour, to delay his journey; especially as
he had so just a motive for his going, as the establishing of his health;
and as he might return the sooner, if he saw occasion for it.

I found the Colonel in a very solemn way. We had a good deal of
discourse upon the subject of certain letters which had passed between us
in relation to Miss Harlowe's will, and to her family. He has some
accounts to settle with his banker; which, he says, will be adjusted
to-morrow; and on Thursday he proposes to go down again, to take leave of
his friends; and then intends to set out directly for Italy.

I wish Mr. Lovelace could have been prevailed upon to take any other
tour, than that of France and Italy. I did propose Madrid to him; but he
laughed at me, and told me, that the proposal was in character from a
mule; and from one who was become as grave as a Spaniard of the old cut,
at ninety.

I expressed to the Colonel my apprehensions, that his cousin's dying
injunctions would not have the force upon him that were to be wished.

'They have great force upon me, Mr. Belford,' said he; 'or one world
would not have held Mr. Lovelace and me thus long. But my intention is
to go to Florence; and not to lay my bones there, as upon my cousin's
death I told you I thought to do; but to settle all my affairs in those
parts, and then to come over, and reside upon a little paternal estate in
Kent, which is strangely gone to ruin in my absence. Indeed, were I to
meet Mr. Lovelace, either here or abroad, I might not be answerable for
the consequence.'

He would have engaged me for to-morrow. But having promised to attend
Mr. Lovelace on his journey, as I have mentioned, I said, I was obliged
to go out of town, and was uncertain as to the time of my return in the
evening. And so I am to see him on Thursday morning at my own lodgings.

I will do myself the honour to write again to your Lordship to-morrow
night. Mean time, I am, my Lord,

Your Lordship's, &c.



LETTER LIII

MR. BELFORD, TO LORD M.
WEDN. NIGHT, OCT. 4.


MY LORD,

I am just returned from attending Mr. Lovelace as far as Gad's-Hill, near
Rochester. He was exceeding gay all the way. Mowbray and Tourville are
gone on with him. They will see him embark, and under sail; and promise
to follow him in a month or two; for they say, there is no living without
him, now he is once more himself.

He and I parted with great and even solemn tokens of affection; but yet
not without gay intermixtures, as I will acquaint your Lordship.

Taking me aside, and clasping his arms about me, 'Adieu, dear Belford!'
said he: 'may you proceed in the course you have entered upon!--Whatever
airs I give myself, this charming creature has fast hold of me here--
[clapping his hand upon his heart]: and I must either appear what you see
me, or be what I so lately was--O the divine creature!' lifting up his
eyes----

'But if I live to come to England, and you remain fixed in your present
way, and can give me encouragement, I hope rather to follow your example,
than to ridicule you for it. This will [for I had given him a copy of
it] I will make the companion of my solitary hours. You have told me a
part of its melancholy contents; and that, and her posthumous letter,
shall be my study; and they will prepare me for being your disciple, if
you hold on.

'You, Jack, may marry,' continued he; 'and I have a wife in my eye for
you.--Only thou'rt such an awkward mortal:' [he saw me affected, and
thought to make me smile:] 'but we don't make ourselves, except it be
worse by our dress. Thou art in mourning now, as well as I: but if ever
thy ridiculous turn lead thee again to be beau-brocade, I will bedizen
thee, as the girls say, on my return, to my own fancy, and according to
thy own natural appearance----Thou shalt doctor my soul, and I will
doctor thy body: thou shalt see what a clever fellow I will make of thee.

'As for me, I never will, I never can, marry--that I will not take a few
liberties, and that I will not try to start some of my former game, I
won't promise--habits are not so easily shaken off--but they shall be by
way of wearing. So return and reform shall go together.

'And now, thou sorrowful monkey, what aileth thee?' I do love him, my
Lord.

'Adieu!--And once more adieu!'--embracing me. 'And when thou thinkest
thou hast made thyself an interest out yonder (looking up) then put in
a word for thy Lovelace.'

Joining company, he recommended to me to write often; and promised to let
me hear quickly from him; and that he would write to your Lordship, and
to all his family round; for he said, that you had all been more kind to
him than he had deserved.

And so we parted.

I hope, my Lord, for all your noble family's sake, that we shall see him
soon return, and reform, as he promises.

I return your Lordship my humble thanks for the honour of your invitation
to M. Hall. The first letter I receive from Mr. Lovelace shall give me
the opportunity of embracing it. I am, my Lord,

Your most faithful and obedient servant,
J. BELFORD.



LETTER LIV

MR. BELFORD, TO LORD M.
THURSDAY MORNING, OCT. 5.


It may be some satisfaction to your Lordship, to have a brief account of
what has just now passed between Colonel Morden and me.

We had a good deal of discourse about the Harlowe family, and those parts
of the lady's will which still remain unexecuted; after which the Colonel
addressed himself to me in a manner which gave me some surprise.

He flattered himself, he said, from my present happy turn, and from my
good constitution, that I should live a great many years. It was
therefore his request, that I would consent to be his executor; since it
was impossible for him to make a better choice, or pursue a better
example, than his cousin had set.

His heart, he said was in it: there were some things in his cousin's will
and his analogous: and he had named one person to me, with whom he was
sure I would not refuse to be joined: and to whom he intended to apply
for his consent, when he had obtained mine.* [Intimating, as far as I
could gather, that it was Mr. Hickman, son of Sir Charles Hickman; to
whom I know your Lordship is not a stranger: for he said, Every one who
was dear to his beloved cousin, must be so to him: and he knew that the
gentleman who he had thoughts of, would have, besides my advice and
assistance, the advice of one of the most sensible ladies in England.]


* What is between crotchets, thus [ ], Mr. Belford omitted in the
transcription of this Letter to Miss Howe.


He took my hand, seeing me under some surprise: you must not hesitate,
much less deny me, Mr. Belford. Indeed you must not. Two things I will
assure you of: that I have, as I hope, made every thing so clear that you
cannot have any litigation: and that I have done so justly, and I hope it
will be thought so generously, by all my relations, that a mind like
your's will rather have pleasure than pain in the execution of this
trust. And this is what I think every honest man, who hopes to find an
honest man for his executor, should do.

I told him, that I was greatly obliged to him for his good opinion of me:
that it was so much every man's duty to be an honest man, that it could
not be interpreted as vanity to say, that I had no doubt to be found so.
But if I accepted of this trust, it must be on condition--

I could name no condition, he said, interrupting me, which he would
refuse to comply with.

This condition, I told him, was, that as there was as great a probability
of his being my survivor, as I his, he would permit me to name him for
mine; and, in that case, a week should not pass before I made my will.

With all his heart, he said; and the readier, as he had no apprehensions
of suddenly dying; for what he had done and requested was really the
effect of the satisfaction he had taken in the part I had already acted
as his cousin's executor; and in my ability, he was pleased to add: as
well as in pursuance of his cousin's advice in the preamble of her will;
to wit; 'That this was a work which should be set about in full health,
both of body and mind.'

I told him, that I was pleased to hear him say that he was not in any
apprehension of suddenly dying; as this gave me assurance that he had
laid aside all thoughts of acting contrary to the dying request of his
beloved cousin.

Does it argue, said he, smiling, that if I were to pursue a vengeance so
justifiable in my own opinion, I must be in apprehension of falling by
Mr. Lovelace's hand?--I will assure you, that I have no fears of that
sort--but I know this is an ungrateful subject to you. Mr. Lovelace is
your friend; and I will allow, that a good man may have a friendship for
a bad one, so far as to wish him well, without countenancing him in his
evil.

I will assure you, added he, that I have not yet made any resolutions
either way. I have told you what force my cousin's repeated requests
have with me. Hitherto they have with-held me--But let us quit this
subject.

This, Sir [giving me a sealed-up parcel] is my will. It is witnessed.
I made no doubt of prevailing upon you to do me the requested favour. I
have a duplicate to leave with the other gentleman; and an attested copy,
which I shall deposit at my banker's. At my return, which will be in six
or eight months at farthest, I will allow you to make an exchange of
your's, if you will have it so. I have only now to take leave of my
relations in the country. And so God protect you, Mr. Belford! You will
soon hear of me again.

He then very solemnly embraced me, as I did him: and we parted.

I heartily congratulate your Lordship on the narrow escape each gentleman
has had from the other: for I apprehend that they could not have met
without fatal consequences.

Time, I hope, which subdues all things, will subdue their resentments. I
am, my Lord,

Your Lordship's most faithful and obedient servant,
J. BELFORD.


Several other letters passed between Miss Howe and Mr. Belford, relating
to the disposition of the papers and letters; to the poor's fund;
and to other articles of the Lady's will: wherein the method of
proceeding in each case was adjusted. After which the papers were
returned to Mr. Belford, that he might order the two directed
copies of them to be taken.

In one of these letters Mr. Belford requests Miss Howe to give the
character of the friend she so dearly loved: 'A task, he imagines,
that will be as agreeable to herself, as worthy of her pen.'

'I am more especially curious to know,' says he, 'what was that
particular disposition of her time, which I find mentioned in a
letter which I have just dipt into, where her sister is enviously
reproaching her on that score.* This information may
enable me,' says he, 'to account for what has often surprised me:
how, at so tender an age, this admirable lady became mistress of
such extraordinary and such various qualifications.'


* See Vol. I. Letter XLII.



LETTER LV

MISS HOWE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
THURSDAY, OCT. 12.


SIR,

I am incapable of doing justice to the character of my beloved friend;
and that not only from want of talents, but from grief; which, I think,
rather increases than diminishes by time; and which will not let me sit
down to a task that requires so much thought, and a greater degree of
accuracy than I ever believed myself mistress of. And yet I so well
approve of your motion, that I will throw into your hands a few
materials, that may serve by way of supplement, as I may say, to those
you will be able to collect from the papers themselves; from Col.
Morden's letters to you, particularly that of Sept. 23;* and from the
letters of the detestable wretch himself, who, I find, has done her
justice, although to his own condemnation: all these together will enable
you, who seem to be so great an admirer of her virtues, to perform the
task; and, I think, better than any person I know. But I make it my
request, that if you do any thing in this way, you will let me see it.
If I find it not to my mind, I will add or diminish, as justice shall
require. She was a wonderful creature from her infancy: but I suppose
you intend to give a character of her at those years when she was
qualified to be an example to other young ladies, rather than a history
of her life.